Best Funny Motivational Quotes To Put A Smile On Every Face
- “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” Joe Girard
- “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar3. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin
- “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” Oscar Wilde
- “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” Winnie the Pooh
- “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” Tom Lehrer
- “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” Steven Wright
- “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” Unknown
- “Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” Jeffrey Gitomer
- “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Dalai Lama
- “Bad decisions make good stories.” Ellis Vidler
- “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.” Cassandra Duffy
- “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” Cathy Guisewite
- “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” Mark Twain
- “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
- “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” Benjamin Franklin
- “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” Unknown
- “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” Charles Schulz
- “Think like a proton. Always positive.” Unknown
- “Be happy – it drives people crazy.” Unknown
- “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” Robert Brault
- “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” Ayn Rand.
- “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” Robin Williams
- “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” Michael Scott
- “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” Elvis Presley
- “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” Will Rogers
- “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want to be done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D. Eisenhower
- “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” Jason Love
- “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach
- “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” Franklin P. Jones
- “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” Ron White
- “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Eddison
- “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” Unknown
- “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburn
- “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get a warm feeling that it brings.” Robert Bloch
- “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Marilyn Monroe
- “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” Robert Frost
- “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” Terry Pratchett
- “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” Billie Burke
- “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” Unknown
- “Trying is the first step toward failure.” Homer Simpson
- “Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.” Unknown
- “The best things in life are actually really expensive.” Unknown
- “Every tattoo is temporary because we’re all slowly dying.” Unknown
- “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” Justin Sewell
- “Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.” Unknown
- “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” Ashleigh Brilliant
- “If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.” Unknown
- “The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” Unknown
- “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” Unknown
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